Mom has been gone for four weeks today. The emotional numbness is somewhat less than it was intially but I still feel like I’m operating on automatic in a thick fog. 

I ocassionally find myself starting to pick up the phone to tell her something or ask her advise. Yes, even grandmothers like to talk to their mothers!

I found a small poster in a gift shop last week:

My mother didn’t

Tell me whow to live…

She showed me.

The writer of those wise words must have known my mom!

We often discussed books together when she was still able to read books. Sometimes I’d  complain to her about a book I was forcing myself to read for a Book Club. Near the end of her long illness she looked at me one day with that mischievious Irish twinkle in her eyes and said, “You know life is too short to waste on bad books!”

I’ve thought about that comment quite often since she’s been gone. I think it can be applied to many aspects of life. Maybe we should prioritize our lives and do only the things we’d want to do if we knew we had a short time to live.

After all our allotted time is relevant and in the whole scheme of things, none of us will be here long enough to waste the precious gift of time.

My mother bravely battled cancer for the last twenty two months. She passed away four days ago. Even though I knew it was coming, I feel numb. Like my world will never be the same. It’s hard to fathom never being able to call my mother again. To never buy her another birthday gift or Mother’s Day card. Is a person ever really ready for the final good bye?

I was fortunate to have had a mother who devoted her life to her family. She was well known for her wit, loyalty and keen intelligence. She had a knack for making everyone of her six surviving children, 21 grandchildren and 26 great grandchildren feel like they were her favorite. Probably  because they all were!

Family dynamics are incredibly interesting.  Mom managed to mend a few family rifts from her sickbed. She had a gift of wisdom that was uncanny. Even though she is gone, she’ll always be with us. I told her a few weeks ago, “You will live as long as any of us who know and love you live.”

She was 84 years young. She always hated tatoos. But when her great granddaughter proudly showed her the new tattoo on her back, “Live, Love and Laugh–Texas Grandma” - inside a heart with red roses around it. (Texas Grandma was the nickname her grandchildren have called her for many years.) Mom beamed and said, “Did you see that beautiful tattoo? It has my name on it!”

I replied, “Mom we don’t need to tattoo your name on our bodies, you’ll be in our hearts forever.”

The daffodils are in bloom with their cheerful yellows here and there in nearly every garden we pass. Hallelujah! Sure, we had snow two nights ago but the hearty early spring flowers were not fazed. And it all melted before noon.

Oh gawd, speaking of yellow…as I sit here typing, my dog started to make that gagging heaving sound he sometimes does. It’s never good when that happens. I turned around to find him spitting, (I hate to call it vomit), a bright yellow liquid all over the carpets, etc.

Well, I’m back from that distraction, all is cleaned up again. My new novel is coming along, I’m finally finding blocks of time to work on it. And it’s a fun story to write. I hope when at last it is finished, people will find it an equally enjoyable story to read.

I had the pleasure and honor of treating novelist Lenore Hart, (author of Waterwoman, Becky, etc.), to lunch the day after her One Book Bradford event on April 1. She’s an inspiring and delightful person. Before we knew it, 2.5 hours had slipped by! For me it was like an Oasis of joy on what’s been a tumultuous time in my life with my mother’s declining health as well as aunts and uncles who have also become seriously ill.

 I continue to read lots of books and we usually watch movies every week. Nothing jumps out as particularly memorable as I write, just entertaining. And, hey, entertaining is not a bad thing! Last night we went to see Date Night. We laughed till tears trickled down our cheeks. We were thoroughly entertained and I got to eat lots of popcorn. I love popcorn at the movies!

Well, I have a good Lee Smith novel to finish tonight and some leftover popcorn from last night’s movie. Till next time. Keep reading and I hope your dog doesn’t get sick!

Another snow storm is expected this afternoon but we take it in our stride in northwestern Pennsylvania. Besides  it’s not so hard to accept more snow since spring is less than a month away.  And we are definitley ready for spring.

 We were fortunate to go south for ten days earlier this month but the weather at Hilton Head, S.C. was only a little warmer than home. At least we didn’t have any snow to shovel while we were there! And we were able to visit several family members on the way south as well as on the way home.

While there we watched several really good movies: The Hurt Locker, Crazy Heart, Dear John  and the Edge of Darkness.

We enjoyed spending time with friends who live there during the winter.  He’s a retired gynecologist/obstetrician who made this comment during a discussion one evening, ”There are no illegitimate babies, only illegitimate parents.” It was a Wow moment for me.

I’ve been busy preparing gift baskets which include a copy of “Runaway Grandma”, candy, etc. for fund raisers and speaking engagements. Next week I’ll speak to the Current Events Club and the Eastern Star ladies.  I must confess a writers natural tendency is to avoid the spotlight. I’d prefer to stay on the sidelines, watch others and then twist those observations into stories. But that doesn’t help get my books noticed and into the hands of more readers. And speaking does get a bit easier as I continue to do it…

On Feb. 23 I drove to State College and had the pleasure of spending the afternoon with my granddaughter who will graduate this summer. Then I went to WPSU radio to tape a book review of “Still Alice”, (please see last month’s blog for more info on the book), for BookMark which will air on March 3 at 4:30 p.m. and again on March 7 at 9:30 a.m. It was fun. The new WPSU studio is amazing. Patty Satalia and Cynthia Berger stopped by to say hello, I’d worked with both of them in the past on other projects.  Sarah B. Maloney was great to help me record this BookMark review. It will be archived on WPSU’s radio audio archives.

Till next time, happy reading my friends… Ann

I’m glad that at least it’s still January, since this is my first entry in 2010. I hope all my readers are well and the new year will bring you and yours peace, prosperity and good health.

I read a lot of books and few shake me up as much as one I read last week, Still Alice by Lisa Genova. I read it in one sitting because I couldn’t stop…it was phenomenal. I highly recommend it to all readers. It’s about a woman who is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease at age 50.  A very powerful and wonderfully written book. The research is top notch. As an RN I’ve worked with several Alzheimer patients and most literature does not capture the true essence of the disease. She captured it perfectly.

Presently my mother seems to be in a state of remission. This is a relief to all the family. She refuses any further chemotherapy. She is not in pain and her appetite is a little better. She has maintained her weight for the last three weeks. The oncologist told her the cancer is still there but may be dormant for awhile until something disturbs it… She is a beloved  mother and grandmother, she helped raise a granddaughter who is happily married to her college sweeetheart, who is now a young MD in Texas and they are expecting a their first baby next summer. Twin boys! Mom is very excited about those babies, the first set of twins in our family. We are all hoping she will live to watch those babies celebrate a few birthdays.

I had the pleasure and honor of speaking to a wonderful local group on Jan. 13 over lunch…about writing and Runaway Grandma.  And I’ve been working on my fourth novel and it is so good to get back to doing what a writer likes and must do…write! So I’ll make this short and get back to my writing.

Till next time… be well and happy reading!

Outside my window, the snow is blowing in wicked white-outs as I write. I am recovering from a bout with the flu, probably swine. I hope I never get that sick again!

I am behind in my Christmas preparations, probably because I’m having a hard time putting my heart into it this year. The good news is both my novels are still selling decently and I received nice royalty checks this year. The bad news is all my good intentions of fininshing my fourth novel are met with procrastinaton my part. I know how and what to write but just can’t seem to find the time to do it.

My mother’s cancer has metastisized; last month her oncologist told her she can expect about six more months to live. All my siblings, their children and grandchildren came home for Thanksgiving. Out of the blue my friend, Kay, called and offered her church to cook a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for all 75 of us!! Mom loved it and it was so good to all be together again, there was much laughter and plenty of tears. Mom is still as feisty as ever. And we are praying for a miracle…

Of course, I try to spend as much time with my parents as I can, despite the distance and weather. My literary agent is on the ball and working hard to find a pubisher for book # three.

Wishing all of you a blessed holiday season. Happy reading!

 Some days I feel like being in this play, The Dixie Swim Team, has taken over my life. It is so much fun and yet so much work, to learn all the lines and where to stand or sit when I say them, and how to say them. And if we flub our lines and ad lib, then we mess up the next actor’s lines who was waiting on our correct line for her cue. It is much more involved than I ever dreamed it would be. But I’m glad I’m doing it, it’s a great learning experience.

Meanwhile I’m a little more Dinah in my speech and behavior each day as I try to get into her character. The hardest thing, (probably for my poor husband…but then it was his idea that I audition and give this a try!), is she’s totally opposite me. She’s a southern woman, hard drinking successful trial lawyer, very sarcastic and never married with no children. And did I mention it’s really fun too??

Show times are Friday, Oct. 16 and Saturday, Oct. 17 @ 7:30 p.m. and Sunday afternoon @ 2 p.m. at Universtiy of Pittsburgh at Bradford Bromely Theater, Bradford, PA.

I finally have a literary agent. I hope she’ll be able to sell my new novel, I know the wheels of the publishing world move slowly for all of us who are not celebrities. But to have an agent is a big deal for me as it is for most writers. Now I’ll be able to really focus on writing instead of all the business connected with it…well, once this play is over. 

Till next time… Ann

I intended to write this blog more frequently but the weeks have rolled by again. Life always seems to get in the way. Summer is winding down, even though the weather has heated up. Schools start next week.

Agents are still expressing interest in my third novel as I work away on my fourth novel. I bought myself a new framed sign for my desk:

“My hopes are not always Realized but I always hope.” by Ovid  

It would be impossible for me to continue writing without hope!

I’ve spent lots of time with my grandchildren the last few weeks, and that’s always time well spent.  My mother is holding her own and that is such a blessing in itself.

I auditioned for a play, with the local community theater, on a whim and with a bit of encouragement from my husband … AND I got the part! I’ve never acted before but I think it will be loads of fun. It’s “The Dixie Swim Team” written by the same writer who wrote “The Golden Girls” TV series. It is a cast of five women, I have the part of Dinah, a Bea Arthur like character. And we all have to speak our parts with a southern accent. The play will be at UPB on Oct 16, 17 and 18. Wish me luck!

I’ve read many books this summer, my favorites are:

 Shanghai Girls by Lisa See and Still Life by Louise Penny.

Book Clubs certainly keep me reading new authors and exploring genres I’d never open if not for club choices. I may not be reading quite as many books in September since I have a script to memorize…

Later,  Ann

Maybe a woman needs to be post menopausal to enjoy the weather we’ve had so far this summer, but I certainly am. Not one day over 90 and that’s great with me! And so much rain that I don’t even have to water the gardens everyday, God does a much better job anyway.

Today I feel a bit blue. Frank McCourt died yesterday. I never met him. But I so loved his writing and listening to his lovely Irish accent when he gave interviews on television or on the radio. He taught school for thirty years in the NYC area, all of his former students are fortunate indeed. If you haven’t read Angela’s Ashes, Tis and Teacher Man, I suggest you do. You are in for a real treat. He has the true gift of the Irish with the English lanquage, keen perception completely void of resentment. There are pages in Angela’s Ashes that made me laugh out loud and then cry a few paragraphs later. Very powerful. After reading it, I never looked at poor people the same way.

 Last months interested agent passed but with kindness, wishing me luck. Today I received word from another agent, (one I’d truly be thirilled if she represented my work), who wants to read the entire manuscript. I just can’t help being optimistic!

 I have three grandchildren here with me this afternoon and it’s getting noisy… so I best close this blog for today. We’re going out to dinner and then to see the new Harry Potter Movie tonight. Crafts tomorrow and then swimming on Wednesday. Thursday I have another Book Signing at the Forest Nook in Cooks Forest, PA.

Till next time… hope you all are having a great summer too.  Ann

Today is Fathers Day and I had the pleasure of sitting beside my dad for breakfast. I had to drive ninety minutes to be there but it was so worth it. My mom, sisters and their husbands were also there. But I was the one who got to sit beside Dad! He’ll be 87 on his birthday later this summer. He cuts firewood, plants a garden and takes care of Mom as well as the farm we all think of as home.

Mom was discharged from the hospital on Friday after emergency admission for treatment of three blood clots in her lungs… she informed her oncologist she had had her last chemotherapy treatment. She has lost so much weight and tires quickly but other than that remains her normal feisty self.

We were away the week of June 8 at a local resort using a time share week for a family vacation of sorts. One son was laid off the month of April and is still feeling the financial  pinch from that, the other son is currently laid off but is due to go back ot work July 12. His wife is in training in Buffalo, NY for her new position with the Social Security Adminsistration.

But everyone came as much as they could, it was a little cool for swimming but we played lots of tennis. (My husband has a tennis ball machine.) I even shot a gun on the target range, they said I was a natural because I hit the target every time. But gee how hard is that, you aim the gun right at it and shoot! What else was I going to hit?? I didn’t like the kick of the gun, they said I should try a smaller caliber, I was shooting with a 9 mm.

It was good to spend time with the the family though very hectic with 10 grandchildren from ages 5 through 25 coming and going! My parents also came to visit one day. There is definitley something to be said for local vacations.

A Literary Agent in California wants to read the first fifty pages of my new novel, It Happened on Willow Lane…naturally I plan to send it to her as soon as possible. Being a natural optimist, I can’t help but hope this mught be a really good thing for my writing career.